So our big news is... we are moving. An amazing opportunity came to us which will allow us to move out next week. We are moving into a mobile home for an amazing price due to family helping us out... This move gives me so many emotions to feel that I'm kind of a mess.
first I am excited. We want to be on our own. I am grateful that we have been able to live with my parents. I couldn't have gone home with just Blake and Bella. I needed help and was lucky to have it. But living with your parents with your husband and child is hard. We need our space and I am so glad to be able to move.
but there is some guilt because we are still going to be recieving help financially from family as well as support with taking care of things that I can't do, like cooking and some cleaning. Once I get disability which will hopefully be coming in the next couple months we wont need help. Also Blake is looking for a second job which will allow us to not need as much financial help. I just struggle with guilt over not being able to work.
I also have a good amount of fear. We were so close with moving into the apartment and then my world exploded. I'm not exactly afraid of another stroke but just of something coming along to take away this opportunity. I have a hard time trusting anything good right now. Hopefullyafter we get moved in and nothing bad happens I will begn to trust again.
I'm in therapy to help me with all of these emotions as well as all the others that I go through with dealing with the stroke. I have been trying to work through them but a lot of change and no stability in my world scares me. I hope to be able to use this blog to journal what I'm going through and to share our joy with this move.