Do I feel lucky to have had a stroke?
Yes and no
Would I have ever chose to go through this, never, there is a lot that I hate about this stroke. It’s hard. It makes things difficult. Recovery is painful and time consuming. I haven’t walked in almost five months. Haven’t driven a car or ran an errand by myself. I have to be supervised when taking a shower need help getting in places and my ability to parent is limited.
So why lucky?
Because I get to start over. Blank slate. I get to fix all the things that I didn’t like about old Karissa and be someone new. I am not expected to work or be in school right now. My job is to heal and focus on me which gives me the time to discover what I truly love and want to do. My personality has changed and made me a little bolder. I am not afraid to stand up for myself a little more. I also got to let go of a lot of fear. Because really if I can get through this, what can’t I make it through. If something seems a little scary I just have to stop and think. Will it be worse than having a stroke, probably not? It also showed me that I’m not alone that there is support and love around me. I got to find out what I really mean to people. I will love harder because I know how fast I could have been gone. Who wouldn’t want to start over? Get to apply what they’ve learned in life and be someone new.
So am I lucky I think so. I hope that in a year I can read this and know for sure that the answer is yes I was lucky. My life will be so full of happiness and love. I will be so strong and brave that I can accomplish anything. Join me on my journey.
