feeling better.

I'm not an optimist. Not even close. Some of it comes from the wonderfulness of depression I've gained this year. Some of it is just me. My glass is't just have empty sometimes I'm not sure if I even have a glass anymore. I feel overwhelmed by the burden of sadness. The thing is I want to be happy. I want to be ridiculously cheerful and almost obnoxiously optimistic. It's just hard. It's a part of me that has always been weak and now has completly atrophied with the stroke. I guess it's just one more part of me I have to strengthen I just don't even know where to begin. Smiling, laughing, thinking good thoughts have all become so foreign to me and I don't know how to change this around. Any great ideas out there. Keave me a comment here or somewhere else if you know me better. Help me fix this before it gets worse.