Let’s begin with love. The first and most obvious of what I love is Isabella. I am consumed by my love with her. She is funny and smart and a challenge. She doesn’t seem like me at all, even though others can see traits we have in commonI don’t see them. She is a tornado. She blows in and will take down anything in her path. Her energy the never ending energy that overwhelms me because my natural speed is much lower. She makes me happy and I'm glad to be her mom.
I also love that we moved. Our move there is so much more to be done but we are getting there. It happened and I survived. There were moments of nervousness where I was afraid that history would find a way to repeat itself. Not so much that another stroke would happen, although that thought was there, but more so that something would happen to pull the rug out from underneath me again. That I would get so close and everything would fall apart again. I knew that I had more control this time. That we had more help and support than last time. The stress could be kept under control this time which would go a long way to keeping me ok. So it happened. All of the stuff has been moved and we are starting to unpack and organize. It’s a big project and I’m getting a lot of help because there is no way I could do it alone. I will have pictures of it at some point bit I’m not ready to share. I need to do more to make it feel like mine.
Photography something else love but haven’t been sharing much of lately. My slowness makes me insecure when taking pictures so there are less to share. As I can move better and quicker I hope to do more. I so deeply believe in photographing your life, especially the lives of children. It changes so fast and I want to capture it. Trap these moments in her life when she’s little and mine and keep them a while longer. The time will come soon enough where my presence is no longer wanted so I want these moments now to last.
Cousins. So many good cousin moments coming up for Bella. She is going to Disneyland for three days with Maryssa. She doesn’t know this. To spare me the never ending question if it’s today that she gets to go. Then Kilee gets her cast off at the end of the month. These two girls want to play and run together and finally they will have the chance. My baby’s joy is my joy and I can’t wait for her to have these moments.